B"H
In my last post, I discussed the delightful state of being anxiously poised between activities, unable to effectively pursue any of them. Specifically, I'm talking about when such inability is not due to external factors, but rather to an attack of anxiety that Will. Not. Quit.
I talked about writing out the feelings underlying the stuck feeling, and how that is a first crucial step for me in moving past stuckness. Today I am going to talk about variations on scheduling as an anxiety-buster. For me, this must happen only after the feelings-discovery portion of the program, but for someone else it might be a stand-alone technique.
There are a few ways to use scheduling to inch past anxiety. One is the tiny tasks technique. I have read variations on this technique in several sources and used it successfully. You must identify the tiniest micro-movement that you can make toward your goal. For example, I have a check to write and deliver for a donation I am making. I am stuck on it, and it's not getting done. So I decide that the tiniest movement I can take toward completing the task is to get out a pen with which to write the check. Then I assign myself the task of taking out a pen. I don't have to do it immediately, as long as it is on my list. If I get out a pen before the end of the day, I have succeeded.
Some people get really crazy with the tiny tasks technique and find that just because they've gotten out a pen, they are ready and able to write the check. This hardly ever happens for me. Instead, I assign another tiny task the next day: Put the recipient's name on the check. Or I even lose track of my goal for a few days because it's that overwhelming. But when I next think to do a tiny task, the pen is waiting.
By tracking your progress using tiny tasks, you end up with a long string of successes to your credit. If you are one to make lists, which I would recommend, as it counteracts the brain fog that anxiety can produce, then you have a series of happy check marks for your completed items. That almost gives a person the belief that she can accomplish something. Hooray!
Another use of scheduling to creep past a stuck point is to do what I call micro-scheduling. I take a short period, a maximum of three hours long. I list things that need to be done. And I take a moment to jot down next to each task how long I think it will take. Then I plug my activities into my short period of time, scheduling in ten or fifteen minute blocks. If I have an activity that will take longer than fifteen minutes, I break it into its component tasks so that I have something specific to do for every ten or every fifteen minutes of my short time period. Then I start at the beginning and follow the schedule.
It is not necessary to attack the most difficult stuck thing with micro-scheduling. The idea is just to get a little momentum going so I can get to feeling better about myself. I often find that when I am stuck, I freak out and decide that I am so behind that only doing everything at once is acceptable. (This is not a logical decision.) Micro-scheduling allows me to hold myself accountable for one thing at a time. It makes the process feel much more straightforward and less fraught with feelings of inadequacy.
A third use of scheduling to break through stuckness is weekly scheduling. In weekly scheduling, the time blocks begin each hour. You start with a weekly list of things to do, and assign them time according to the number of hours they are likely to take. (Hint: round up.) Sometimes I will make note of a half-hour when I have to do something at a specific time, like an appointment. Other times I will just list more than one thing in my hour, knowing that all of the things will fit in that amount of time.
The point is not to follow my schedule slavishly. The point is to move most of my decision making about how I am spending my time into one weekly session, which I do when I am calm. I can picture how I want my days to look, and then schedule the associated activities. Things get lost a lot less.
But sometimes, the schedule gets disrupted for any of a number of reasons. Then, I cross out what I scheduled, and write in what I actually did. That way I can see what I missed and may need to think about for next week.
What I have found most liberating about a weekly schedule is that I can schedule in my self-care, rather than wait for time to magically show up for it. There will always be more chores to do, more work to pursue, more good deeds to undertake, etc. Weekly scheduling makes me prioritize. It is more important to me to write in my journal than to dust the baseboards. It is more important to me to write a blog post for an hour than to spend the time on making another dish for Shabbos. In this way, scheduling strengthens my self-knowledge, which in turn allows me to better predict how I will function with the greatest ease and enjoyment in the future.
Weekly scheduling gives me mental repose, because I know that I have remembered my priorities in advance. I don't have to fight time to get a moment to read; reading is scheduled in. I may have given up another activity to include reading. That's called knowing what I truly value. All those little decisions about what to do with each hour of the day paint a picture of my life. And I am holding the paintbrush.
